party pooper

have not found curtains. house in shambles. please forgive me dear friends....wail!

Party postponed until further notice.

Quiz time

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

This is the remix

The best things in life are free but you can give them to the birds and bees. I want MONEY. (da da da dum). That's what I want.

Cause we are living in a material world. And I am a material girl. Material. (Background: Jerry Maguire shouting "Show me the money.")

And for some very odd reason, ends with "go to the matresses."

Songs running through my head

Remember the scene from the Mask where everyone does the conga? Well, that song is running through my head at the moment. The DJ in my head is mixing it right now with (a super camp song) "Ce....lebrate good times, c'mon. C'mon." Having successfully submitted my thesis (after a minor glitch of having to hoof it from AS5 to Old Admin building to draw money to pay for thesis binding - something the office failed to notify us, and just sprung it on everyone when we were there. Brrr.), am still feeling victorious.

Since I was determined to watch a movie, I had raked through the papers to find something that wasn't Ice Age 2 and Tristan and Isolde (having had prior bookings with my sisters). Stumbled upon a little (if at all) advertised movie by Luc Besson - District 13 (Banlieue 13). A little late in coming to Singapore theatre; itwas actually released in 2004.

The story: 2010. The French government has erected walls around ghettos, to (uneffectively) contain crime. District 13 is the worst. Leito, a disenchanted youth (disenchated with the government mainly) is roped in by the cops (unwillingly) to help defuse a bomb which has been stolen by "baddies". He is paired with a man of action, idealistic cop. There's a twist in the end that I won't reveal and which would not really be surprising for those familiar with the science fiction genre, especially of the Phillip K. Dick variety.

What I thought about it: Star Trek:Deep Space Nine meets Yamakasi. The story line is nothing new really; something that has been re-hashed in science fiction. What was good about it though was that it was set in France: as an projection of current events in France, this is a "worse-case scenario" that should not happen but could conceivably happen. What I like most about science fiction is the ability to critique the current trajectory of human history by placing it in the future. In B-13, it was very well done. It wasn't overdone and the issues did not take over the characters. The script has a feel of Kiss of the Dragon to it, not that that detracted any since I liked KOD immensely.

The stunts were reminiscent of Yamakasi, though, and felt a little old. Still, I like the way it was shot. Tightly paced. Good fun if you like the stuff Besson has produced so far. Which I do. So, SUPER!

This looks like an entry of reviews. I have also finished Brick Lane by Monica Ali. Was surprisingly entertained and pleased with it. Shortlised for some award or another: a usual death sentence for me. Despite the cliched beginning (Indian girl goes to England after an arranged marriage to older, ugly guy and subsequently has an affair with a younger guy), I thought it was well written. The subject (the effects of immigration on the immigrant community and their reactions etc) was treated with normality - which I have always felt was lacking in some other novels in the same vein. I especially liked the way it has been written as a series of events in the protagonist's life; Ali's writing meanders like life does, picking out the moments that shape us as who we are and uses these moments to potray a realistic picture. (sorry for that rather artsy way of putting it). The ending was happy without being cliched or "western". You know what I mean - the happy ending that involves running away with the lover (hurrah emancipation! Like that's emancipation.) and living happily ever after. Instead, we get a small victory for the protagonist on the path to happiness - being able to skate. I highly recommend it (despite some eye-glazing moment where Ali describes way too much. I just skim through that) especially if you are not mad keen on artsy books that pretend too much in the effort to say too much about certain issues. And especially if you want a book about Muslims without being "MUSLIM", if you know what I mean.

So, here's me, signing off. Watching Ice Age 2 tomorrow, hopefully. Unless me mum insists on going potty. Ha ha.

Back to our usual programs

Am doing jigs and victory dances as I have - after a LONG time - finished my thesis. HURRRRRRRRRRRAH! The joy and relief is indescribable.

According to the list of rules and regulations, the acknowledgement page is "for making acknowledgements that have a direct bearing on the HT and is not for indulging in routine gestures of politeness or sentimental attitudinising. In all things, students should be guided by good taste and good sense." So, this is my REAL acknowledgements:

Acknowledgements (Version Blatant Sentimentalism)

I wish to thank God. To say, this was a product of divine help was no exageration.

For my family:

My father, for funding four years of study, and for showing amazing faith and pride in my abilities.

My mother, for putting up with my vile temper, and for love, manifested in most concrete ways.

My eldest sister, for empathy and staying up with me.

My second sister, for her unflailing support, her final hours help and somewhat misguided belief in my intellectual capacity.

My husband, for support, fulfilled promises, but most of all, for being there – and staying – during the crying jags.

My best friends - Ain and Azah, for the wonderful workouts and lunches. They have kept me sane.

My participants – those who made the cut and those who did not. This, literally, wouldn’t have been possible without all of you.

Yash Raj Films – for making Mohabbatein. The all-nighters wouldn’t have been the same without it.




Will get back to all when I have finished my post-thesis pre-exam celebrations. I will leave all with a wonderful moment from "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam".

The story goes: Heroine in love with loser guy. Hero 'potong jalan' unwittingly. Hero and heroine gets married. Hero finds out heroine pining after loser guy. So, hero carts heroine off to Italy to find loser guy. After fruitless searching, heroine loses her temper with hero and accuses him of not knowing what it feels like to love someone, etc, etc. So hero replies:

“I’m suffering every minute. You know why? Because you are suffering. I’m going to lose both ways in what you think is a game. You know why? Because I-” (lets out a gust of exasperated breath.)

“You don’t know what love is.” (Turns to leave, grabs a towel and leaves to take a shower. Ha ha. )

Hee. No overt declarations of love. Just a wonderful emotionally laden scene. This is the stuff of Bollywood dreams. :D

The Great Singapore Novel(ist)

Am amazed and somewhat flattered to have scored such a high-profile spell checker. Thank you to Alfian for your comments and correction. I am familiar with Said’s work and, in light of your vehement self-defense, conceed that I may have misconstrued your own (However, citation, dear A.A., is a great way of preventing similar misunderstandings. That was a cheap shot, just to keep things equal. ;D).

Nonetheless, to cast yourself as a feminist might be a bit of an exageration. We all have our pet peeves – patriachy is not yours, to go by the bulk of your work. Identity, colonialism, the Malay question. Yes to all. Not women.

"I doubt you would arrive at these conclusions if you had read one of my plays, 'Madu II', which was a revisionist take on P. Ramlee's own canonical 'Madu Tiga', exposing its sexist constructs. Or anything I'd written about the 'Talaq' issue, which conjured the bogeyman of the 'religiously-inflammatory' to disguise patriarchal power-play. Many other plays I have written, from 'Tapak 7' to 'The Miseducation of Minah Bukit' to 'Selamat Malam Ibu' deal specifically with the experiences of women."

Thank you for pointing out the relevent works - however, this is where we must agree to disagree. Incidentally, I thought P. Ramlee's "Madu Tiga" was deliberately sexist, to reveal the prevailing (and current) sexism. Hence why it was so funny.

In adiition, arguments are not valid or ‘feminist’ by virtue of being made by a feminist (self-declared or otherwise), despite the popularity of this practice (Don’t feel too bad – even academics do it. Oops. Cheap shot number 2. You can make up the numbers the next round.). But if we must play the ‘my balls is bigger than yours’ game, I must conceed defeat, since I have none to begin with. Just taking the piss. To return to my point, I wonder, what sort of a feminist are you? “Islamic feminist”, “Marxist feminist”, etc? American, French or British school of thought? “Black feminist”, perhaps? Beware of the contradictions of your beliefs, if you must defend yourself.

"So many of those I admire are women: Sisters in Islam, Lily Zubaidah Rahim, Salbiah Ahmad, Marina Mahathir, Alin Mosbit, Nirmala Purushotham, Sharon Siddique, Lucy Davis...some have been my teachers as well."

Admiring women not equal to feminism.

Btw, I have sprinkled the above with some more errors (spelling and grammatical! Huzzah!). Have fun finding Wally. :-)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Addendum:

My comments was not meant as a personal attack, really. Even when I criticise something, I do it tongue-in-cheek. Please take the Nonok comment as such. I do apologize if I had insulted you. That was not my intention.

That said, you might benefit from acquiring a sense of the absurd, A.A. ;-)

And "Oversensitive, hysterical, irrational ex-fan" really isn't me. For one, I was never your fan (nothing personal - my reading/viewing tastes run more towards "Dune" and popular culture. Obscure metaphors are not my cup of tea. Even if I have to study them. :P). For another, having publicly displayed my opinions, I do not have any qualms making more under my own name.

Argumentum ad populum

It is faintly distressing to read a dearth of original thought and the perpetuation of certain neo-patriarchal ideas, especially from our so-called (self-proclaimed? ha ha.) Malay elite.

The Standard Malay Guy Defense

"4) The tendencies, in SAF policies to feminise the colonised, viewing Malays as prone to religious hysteria or communal irrationalities. Responding to a call for dialogue by the Malay community on the position of Malays in the army, Lee Kuan Yew himself agreed in principle, but warned that discussions should not be too emotional; in his own words, no 'baby-talk'. "

http://alfian.diaryland.com/forum.html, emphasis mine

So, to feminise something is to attribute 'hysteria' and 'irrationalities' to that thing? Having had that thrown at me, countless times, by (usually) males when trying to discount my logical (hell, you can make a formal analysis of my logic in those instances) points, the inadvertant repetition by someone like Alfian Sa'at irritates. But hey, I'm just being an oversensitive, hysterical and irrational woman, eh?

What can you expect from the 'Nonok' guy? (Ha ha. Malay people will understand the joke.)


"Alamak makcik! Kassim tak mampu!
Sabariah cuma pandai dan jambu.
Kemas masak dia tak tahu.
Dah kahwin nanti guna pembantu.
Macam gini muflislah aku!"

"Alah Mak, itu semua tak perlu.
Rezeki kami Tuhan yang tentu.
Iman dan kasih disemai padu.
Dari Mak kami pohon doa dan restu."
"Apa, kamu hendak aku menanggung malu?
Kau hendak makan pasir dan batu?
Tak ada duit,hidup dengan cintamu?
Aku tak mahu! Aku tak setuju!"

Kassim Selamat melangkah lalu.
Simpanlah Sabariah dalam almari baju!
Tidak terubat luka hatiku
dek hinaan Mak Dara itu."

http://www.dewbaby.blogspot.com/

Is it so wrong to expect standards from your prospective husband? Here's the rub: 'Kassim' expects 'Sabariah' to be able to cook and clean and therein lies her worth. BUT she cannot hold him to a standard i.e. to have enough money.

I have always found it funny that the standard Chinese response to "I'm married" is "How much does he earn?" (in its various forms: Is he stable? Does he have a car? etc.)
But the standard Malay response is: Do you have any children yet?

But in light of multiple cases of irresponsiblity of Malay men viz. maintenence, and a wide-spread expectation that the primary duties of the wife is to cook, clean and bear children and to support a husband if he needs it, which unfortunately entails working to 'help' the husband with household expenditure (for cost of living is SO high in Singapore, protests the husband. *sob* *cough* *s.o.b.*) , the standard Malay response is just a sad reflection of the Malay society's priorities. Children, while important in the propogation of the human race and indeed of human society, I believe, are not more important than the individual. Or at least this individual. I have no problems with people who wish to place more importance to their children's lives than their own. I do have a problem when these people expect (m)others to do the same, and if these others do not conform, they are somehow evil (at the most extreme) or unnatural.

What I detest most is the incessant use of Islam to support their neo-patriarchal constructs. Do you want to know why Islam have been accused of being patriachal? Opresses women? Here's a clue: look at what YOU are doing. How Islam has been taught. Islamic fiqh books. And most of all, look at how Muslims have responded to allegations of mistreatment of women. For, on the most part, a defense is made. Not a reevaluation of current practices, supported by a certain interpretation of the Quran and Hadith.

And just because other women parrot this, does not make it okay. It does not make it acceptable or less opressive. (One might argue even more so.) Argumentum ad populum is a fallacy.

I have reached a stage in my life where I have to speak out. Goaded, no doubt, by some smugly expressed ideas, in both real-life and online. Don't worry all. This is the last avenue for such political pieces. Am just expressing my personal frustrations for the time being. I need to do more research and write something more credible than this personal diatribe before I can actually speak out for real. So, in the meantime, just a long, angry entry. :D

Party Planner

Oh dear. Conflicting dates....

So can I have a vote?

Saturday or Sunday?