Argumentum ad populum

It is faintly distressing to read a dearth of original thought and the perpetuation of certain neo-patriarchal ideas, especially from our so-called (self-proclaimed? ha ha.) Malay elite.

The Standard Malay Guy Defense

"4) The tendencies, in SAF policies to feminise the colonised, viewing Malays as prone to religious hysteria or communal irrationalities. Responding to a call for dialogue by the Malay community on the position of Malays in the army, Lee Kuan Yew himself agreed in principle, but warned that discussions should not be too emotional; in his own words, no 'baby-talk'. "

http://alfian.diaryland.com/forum.html, emphasis mine

So, to feminise something is to attribute 'hysteria' and 'irrationalities' to that thing? Having had that thrown at me, countless times, by (usually) males when trying to discount my logical (hell, you can make a formal analysis of my logic in those instances) points, the inadvertant repetition by someone like Alfian Sa'at irritates. But hey, I'm just being an oversensitive, hysterical and irrational woman, eh?

What can you expect from the 'Nonok' guy? (Ha ha. Malay people will understand the joke.)


"Alamak makcik! Kassim tak mampu!
Sabariah cuma pandai dan jambu.
Kemas masak dia tak tahu.
Dah kahwin nanti guna pembantu.
Macam gini muflislah aku!"

"Alah Mak, itu semua tak perlu.
Rezeki kami Tuhan yang tentu.
Iman dan kasih disemai padu.
Dari Mak kami pohon doa dan restu."
"Apa, kamu hendak aku menanggung malu?
Kau hendak makan pasir dan batu?
Tak ada duit,hidup dengan cintamu?
Aku tak mahu! Aku tak setuju!"

Kassim Selamat melangkah lalu.
Simpanlah Sabariah dalam almari baju!
Tidak terubat luka hatiku
dek hinaan Mak Dara itu."

http://www.dewbaby.blogspot.com/

Is it so wrong to expect standards from your prospective husband? Here's the rub: 'Kassim' expects 'Sabariah' to be able to cook and clean and therein lies her worth. BUT she cannot hold him to a standard i.e. to have enough money.

I have always found it funny that the standard Chinese response to "I'm married" is "How much does he earn?" (in its various forms: Is he stable? Does he have a car? etc.)
But the standard Malay response is: Do you have any children yet?

But in light of multiple cases of irresponsiblity of Malay men viz. maintenence, and a wide-spread expectation that the primary duties of the wife is to cook, clean and bear children and to support a husband if he needs it, which unfortunately entails working to 'help' the husband with household expenditure (for cost of living is SO high in Singapore, protests the husband. *sob* *cough* *s.o.b.*) , the standard Malay response is just a sad reflection of the Malay society's priorities. Children, while important in the propogation of the human race and indeed of human society, I believe, are not more important than the individual. Or at least this individual. I have no problems with people who wish to place more importance to their children's lives than their own. I do have a problem when these people expect (m)others to do the same, and if these others do not conform, they are somehow evil (at the most extreme) or unnatural.

What I detest most is the incessant use of Islam to support their neo-patriarchal constructs. Do you want to know why Islam have been accused of being patriachal? Opresses women? Here's a clue: look at what YOU are doing. How Islam has been taught. Islamic fiqh books. And most of all, look at how Muslims have responded to allegations of mistreatment of women. For, on the most part, a defense is made. Not a reevaluation of current practices, supported by a certain interpretation of the Quran and Hadith.

And just because other women parrot this, does not make it okay. It does not make it acceptable or less opressive. (One might argue even more so.) Argumentum ad populum is a fallacy.

I have reached a stage in my life where I have to speak out. Goaded, no doubt, by some smugly expressed ideas, in both real-life and online. Don't worry all. This is the last avenue for such political pieces. Am just expressing my personal frustrations for the time being. I need to do more research and write something more credible than this personal diatribe before I can actually speak out for real. So, in the meantime, just a long, angry entry. :D