Bubbles

When you belong to a certain group who think the same way, you tend to reinforce each others' weaknesses. It is good (yet uncomfortable) to be with a variety of people. I have to remind myself that sometimes. But growing is hard, whether you are one and a half or twenty six.

This year, I chose not to grow, preferring to stick my head in the sand (or to the ground if you want to be scientifically precise). Exhausted by pretending and making nice.

There is no greater comfort blanket than the warm, soft cheek of a baby coming off the breast. He smells milky sweet, feels like fuzzy peach, and yummy enough to eat. (You do not get the same effect from bottle feed, for info.) I do not have the words for that mix of tenderness, wonder and sheer joy you feel. (Mostly when he is sleeping.) You know they say love hurts. I guess it is true - cause you can love so much your heart actually hurts. Not quite the meaning of the phrase, but true nonetheless.

Rehan is becoming a very affectionate boy. He kisses me when he wakes up before he runs off to play, he hugs me spontaneously, pats me softly. It's freaky sometimes how he seems to know just when I need it. But when you live with someone every minute of the day, it is inevitable you can sense their moods. Apparently, babies are good at this...sensing parents' moods.

Are people naturally self-absorbed? I look at babies and I don't think so. Selfish, yes. Self-absorbed, no. Isn't it distressing to think you might have nurtured your own narcissistic tendencies? What do you call it when you think you are always right and every one who disagrees with you idiots? It is too depressing to converse with one,mainly because you can't! (Narcissists, not idiots. Such an ugly word, idiot. So is retard.

Just some rambling thoughts. Must be cause I have driving tomorrow and don't want to go to bed, even though I have to.