Getting ould

I have always thought that at a certain point in my life I would feel like an adult - namely when I got married. But I don't feel it. On the contrary, I feel immature, childish and foolish most of the time. Heh. Nothing new. I wonder, if there would ever come the time when I am 'adult'. Not that I really care one way or another but it is a fact of life that one would grow up eventually. It's just not happening to me. Then again, I had thought I would get married at 27. That's some years yet. Maybe I will figure it out then.

What is happening though is a pervading sense of ennui. Oh, God. Surburban ennui, bleagh, bleagh. At least I haven't made a movie about it. Curiously enough, I find on my friends blog the same emotions expression in various ways but all defining the same unease. There is something bugging us and we have no idea what it is. Do we lead such unfulfilling lives? I don't think so. But still there is disatisfaction, irritation etc. (As my GP teacher keep pointing out, "etc" implys there more to be said, only that the writer do not know the facts. In this case, it would be true.) The problem is I (perhaps, we) do not know what the problem is. For me at least, if I do know it, I can get started on that action plan. Even if that plan don't work, I feel better. :D

So, taking my cue from my dearest friend, Ain, who had listed down the things she has to be thankful about some time back, I shall do the same, if just to remind myself - stop whinging! Heh.

1. I have a loving and wonderful family (husband included) and am secure in such unconditional love.
2. I got to live in London.
3. I have a few fantastic friends and no annoying acquaintences.
4. I can read. And watch Tv.
5. My brain functions well enough.

That's about it, really. I'm sure there's other things I should be grateful for but it's just not hitting me yet. It is an interesting exercise, I must say. Not really great for a reminder but it shows what I value most. That's what I got out of it anyway. *shrug*

Just to balance boring philosophical what-nots, a line worth a thousand inadequate words:

"Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen" - Spike Milligan