Platonic flirting?

This post is triggered by yesterday's Berita Minggu - but due to a rather thick pile of papers to read, it had been postponed for a better day.

Yesterday's run-of-the-mill issue was ADULTERY. Throw in the usual villians - widows and divorcees - and you have a recipe for Malay drama. I have been rarely accused of being elitist (obtuse, maybe) but this is one occasion when I shall parade my elitist streak and say, enough already! Don't you masses have better things to think about? Better villians to parade - like the vampy overly made-up tart? Hee hee.

Well, being a semi-socialist, I have decided to join the ranks of the masses and post my own take on this.

Is there ever an occasion to go out with a married wo/man socially? More pertinent, perhaps, is there ever an occasion for the married wo/man to go out with a member of the opposite sex?

I'm excluding instances where it is absolutely necessary for work (e.g. discussing things over lunch) or instances where the whole office is invited but only two can make it. Rather unavoidable, wot? Wot?

A friend of mine recently told us that she had gone out for a movie with a married man. Our reactions were not surprising, but hers was. I credit her with the ability to meet criticisms not only with equanimity; she actually does listen to them. Usually. But in this case, I thought she was too defensive and had shut us out. I had thought, but did not voice it then, that there is a reason that she is defensive - I guessed she's trying to convince herself. I don't know.

It was quite surprising that it even disturbed me. I'm not much one for sticking my nose in others' business - except to laugh at them (eyeroll). As much as I trust my friend to do the right thing, the fact that the guy had even gone out with another woman without his wife...well, frankly, pissed me off. It showed a certain lack of respect for his wife and insensitivity. It's all very well to say 'Nothing happened', 'It's not like that', 'We're just friends', but the sting comes not from the potential of adultery (emotional or sexual), but the fact that the guy IGNORED his wife's feelings. Her feelings obviously did not matter to him, and therein lies the insult.

I shall just repeat what I had told my friend: I don't fear my husband straying - if he's jerk enough to do it, well, there's always a handy skillet. It doesn't matter, not really. If there's an action, there will be a reaction. Problem solved. But how does one 'solve' an insult?

Finally, can he handle it if the situation was reversed? If his wife had gone out with another man and said "We're just friends, what." Watch him go and beat the crap out of the man and quite possibly, his own wife.