Lost in translation

Neccessarily oblique

Please note: Men are NOT heads of household. Siapa kasi jawatan, ha? Perasan aje. Yetch yetch.

[NOT Nazir, I married an enlightened man. Or kalau tak, kena kick on backside.]

During Raya
Certain uncle (from marriage): Wah! Dah kuat lah dia (ref Rehan). Baguslah. Budak laki memang kuat. Bukan macam perempuan.

Me (silently): Get stuffed, fool. Argh. Piss off. Piss off. Shall not bellow. I want to see you be in labour for 6 hours (and more, for most people). Try walking around with stitches afterward, too, while you are at it. And breastfeeding. One kick in the balls, and you are moaning. Try being ripped apart and stitched back again. Thrice. (not me - said uncle's wife).

Actually, my response was an insipid 'hee hee' though it may have sounded like 'urafhg'.

One small step for mankind, a giant leap backward for womenkind.

Sometimes I wonder if Nazir escaped unscathed.

Another lip-twitching/teeth-grinding moment

Auntie (from Nazir's side, again. I don't have such mad relatives. Or at least we have stopped visiting them. Hurrah!): Baguslah Ustaz datang. Berkat. Ada baby ustaz lagi.

(to Nazir): Kalau bawa pergi masjid (Rehan), mesti orang takde anak nak dukung. [*to get children apparently* What?]

And she kept calling Nazir "Ustaz" throughout! V creepy. And this his father's sister. Normal people call their nephews by name. Right? Right? Well, his other aunties do. And she kept going on and on about how fortunate it is anak ustaz came. I felt like grabbing Rehan and running. Mujarab ke ada ustaz in da house? Ha ha .

It's laugh or go mad.

[Sorry for not translating. Some things just cannot be translated.]